I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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