So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
