I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
