Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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