I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
