He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
