the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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