He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
