I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
