i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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