3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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