WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
BRING THE BAGELS
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
