You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize