I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
