Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
