No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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