Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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