I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
