The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
