There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
