ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
