hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
