true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Holy sore nipples Batman
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
