Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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