I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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