Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he just fucked me for my cheese..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
