Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
