hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
