what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
