sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
