but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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