erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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