whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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