Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
