Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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