So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
