she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
