i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
