You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
