Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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