I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
