Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
