I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
