I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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