My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
