I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
