8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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