Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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