she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
