no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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