she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
