I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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