I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When are your genitals available?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
