my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize