is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Alive.
So much puke
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
