kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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