'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
