is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
