i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
