All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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