Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
