do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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