Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
