I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
