ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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