I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
