I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
