Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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