I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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